Special Babies Special Families

We are going to have a son! Brent and I are going to have a little boy. And his name is Aiden. Aiden Elliott Leger.

Aiden is already so loved. He is so special. And he is already giving his mom and dad a lot to worry about. The little stinker..

I feel very overwhelmed by this situation. This was not how it was suppose to happen. Brent and I were suppose to have a happy, healthy group of 4, maybe 5 kids, all close together in age and be completely, 100%  normal. In a way, I feel robbed of this picture-perfect future I imagined for ourselves. But Heavenly Father has different things in store for us. Things that I don't really comprehend fully. And it was a little silly of me to think that I could plan our lives better than what Heavenly Father has planned for us.

But still, this isn't what I had in mind. I never thought I would have to worry about sending my newborn infant into open-heart surgery, watching him struggle for life. I didn't think that I would have to leave him in the NICU and not be able to bring him home from the hospital after delivery. I don't want to have to think about the the possibility of watching him die in my arms. These are not things that I want to do. But I have this feeling, that once I meet this special, little boy, none of that will matter. I have a feeling that I won't want anyone else, that once I get to hold this precious little boy, I wouldn't trade him for the world. Something tells me that once this happens, if I could choose to have a different, but healthy baby instead of my miracle baby Aiden, I would turn down that offer without even stopping to blink. Aiden is my future now and he is the future that I didn't even know I wanted. 

Aiden is a special baby, no doubt. He is already defying odds by growing and thriving with only half of a heart! But I still wonder about my qualification to be his mother...Am I strong enough? Will I be the mother that this special child will need? I guess it's best to trust in an all-knowing God. He knows what He is doing and He sent Aiden to us. With Heavenly Father's help, I have to trust that I am capable. After all, I signed up for this. I signed up to come to earth and withstand trials. I knew that it would be difficult. But I still came.

I'm lucky to be able to go through this with an amazing eternal companion. And we are blessed to go through this together with Heavenly Father on our side. I know that He will get us through this, one step at a time.