After a very rough morning, Aiden has calmed down. He received a dose of morphine around 8:15AM, but it didn't seem to help as much as we hoped. He would whimper every few minutes, then cry, and finally calm himself down and doze off only to repeat this pattern every 10-15 minutes. Finally, about an hour and a half after his morphine, he reached the point of no return and would not stop crying for a good 20-30 minutes. I have never seen him cry like this before. His face turns red, he stares right at me, pleading, begging, and I watch his eyes well with tears. He sounds exhausted, disoriented, and my heart hurts to think of the pain he feels that causes him cry like this. I told his doctors that he needed more. They increased his dose of morphine and started him back on a drug called dexmeditomidine (to help him relax) that they for whatever reason stopped giving him. I cried right along side my baby this morning.
Aiden is trying to sleep now as I sit by his bedside, but any little sound wakes him up. He moves his head from one side to the other, fidgets his arms, grunts and then finally relaxes and dozes off again. I know he is hurting and uncomfortable and my whole being aches because I cannot do more for him.
But Aiden is doing well. And I am grateful. He was extubated successfully yesterday and has been breathing very well on his own. He just ate 1.5 oz just a little bit ago and we have turned his IV fluids off to encourage him to want to eat, so hopefully there is more of this to come. And we have plans to pull his RA line (once this is out, we can hold him!!!). I have seen a little bit of my sweet baby coming back today during the calm moments.
I am so in love with this little boy and so amazed by his strength. My son fights CHD with every beat of his heart. And he is doing one heck of a job.
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