Tomorrow, We Go Home

Two weeks from the day we arrived, and 12 days after Aiden's surgery, we are going home. 

During this, our third visit to UCSF: 

I felt my heart break as I watched my sweet, innocent baby suffer after surgery. I also felt strength beyond my own as I stood by his side, holding his hand to get him through. 

I experienced indescribable relief as I began seeing signs of my precious boy coming back to himself. The day after surgery, he looked into my eyes and cooed as I held his head in my hands. Less than 48 hours after surgery, he smiled. The next day, he laughed and giggled with his family and nurses all. day. long. He partied just a little too hard that day and spent the majority of the 2 days that followed sleeping. Even so, whenever he woke up, he had a smile to spare. His resiliency amazed me and I was inspired by his strength.

I spent the last few days cuddling and loving on this precious boy of mine. I have sat and stared into his eyes and been hit with overwhelming love for him, more than ever before.We have spent countless hours smiling and "talking" to each other, sitting and rocking next to his hospital bed. We have gone on walks throughout the hospital and enjoyed some of the California sunshine over the weekend. This boy is my joy. 

I reflected... a lot. I can always worry myself sick about the "what-if" possibilities, the unknowns that come with having a child with a severe heart defect, but why should I? My boy is doing well. He has made it through two surgeries and shows no signs of slowing down. Instead, I am going to live each day as the blessing it is and not waste any moment with Aiden worrying about that "what-ifs" of the future. I will keep loving this boy, fiercely, until I have nothing left; he deserves nothing less. 

My gratitude for the miracles and continuous blessings I have received cannot be adequately described. I see my Heavenly Father's hand in all of this. I do not claim to know fully why we go through what we go through. However, I see the blessings that have come into my life...and there are so many. I rely on my Father in Heaven and without the knowledge I have of gospel truths, I do not know how I would make it through. I know that He is aware. I know He loves me and my family; He loves us all. He never leaves. He allows peace and happiness to permeate even the most difficult of situations. I know this to be true. And I am grateful.

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